Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

Often when discussing a disagreement, the two (or more) parties involved will stop communicating.  The natural reaction of most people is to start to defend their position vigorously while ignoring anything the the others are saying.

This frustrates me to no end.

The common case is that both sides have valid points to be made and that usually, if both parties are really communicating (read: listening) and intelligent, one side will either realize that they are in error or both will adjust their positions to another better common position.  I have had numerous occasions when I have been arguing a point and finally started listening and realized that there was a way to get to “win-win” that wasn’t even on the table originally.

If you understand my position and reject it, I’m happy to “agree to disagree”.  But before we get there, we’re both going to need to get to a point where we understand the words that are coming out of each other’s mouths.

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